You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
