I look better un-naked...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
