Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize