Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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