I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
