hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
