the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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