my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
