whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
