Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth