I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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