I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
