he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
