I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
