hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
