is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
