I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
