i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
