is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
