Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
