Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
