do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
