I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
