I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
