dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need water and some morals
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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