I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
