I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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