Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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