Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
