This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
