I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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