Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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