i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
