i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
