I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
