so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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