yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
