We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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