yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
