He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
