i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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