Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize