is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
