well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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