wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am midnight drunk by noon
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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