Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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