in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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