I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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