those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
