I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
