Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
