I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this just has baby written all over it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
