i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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