nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
