I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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