I want to make a zoo with you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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