If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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